Michael and Katherine terrify germaphobes galore with a crockcast annihilation of all things antibacterial. Luckily, they’ll also make you laugh those fears away. Michael even faces some of his own in a failed attempt to prove he’s a Gryffindor. Unfortunately, his horror at the mere mention of sticky subway poles and bananas seal his fate as a wholly verified (and terrified) Slytherin.
Bacteria are the Real Heroes
This special morning edition of the podcast dawns as Michael explains the human body’s Microbiome. Turns out bacteria are critical to our well being. So, how can antibacterial be the hero of any human story? They can’t. According to Michael (with help from the NIH) our body is merely a meat puppet at the mercy of millions of microscopic bacteria.
Many of these bacteria play crucial roles in our health. They are, in fact, life sustaining and make up a large part of our bodies. So, even though they’re tiny with terrible reputations, bacteria are actually the hardest working goody two shoes of our constitution.

Antibacterial Products = Stupid Toxic Crap
Katherine doesn’t mince around about her contempt for antibacterial products. But lucky for her, scientists and experts in the field agree that this billion dollar industry is based on a lie and needs to be banned. The worst culprits, Triclosan and Triclocarbon were, in fact, recently banned by the FDA. It’s likely many of the alcohol based products new moms love to use for toddler dousing and dipping soon will be too. Why this vehement reaction?
That’s because antibacterial agents are proven to cause dire health concerns including hormonal scrambles, developmental challenges, metabolism issues, and cancer. Not only that, they aren’t even particularly effective! Soap and water works just as well, if not better. Thousand of people die every year from antibiotic resistant infections and antibacterials are a large contributor to this growing problem.
Speaking of Immune Systems…
Michael transitions into a probiotics probe. Do they actually work? Let’s cut to the chase…. Nope. Turns out, There just aren’t enough of the little buggers per serving to make an impact on the massive ecosystem of our bodies. We are made of many microorganisms, after all. He explains that in cases of people with gut disorders, probiotics can make a difference but only with the live cultures.
In other words, throw away any probiotics you have in capsule or pill form because a probiotic is ALIVE and needs to stay that way to have any impact at all. That means probiotics can help those who need an extra boost of good bacteria but it’s gotta be livin’ or it’s not worth a crap… and if you’ve got gut issues, we mean that literally.

Chlorine is Antibacterial Too
Katherine brings the podcast around the final bend to talk about being a dumbass. It’s familiar territory for her… almost as familiar as the five minute trip she takes many times a week to her nearby swimming pool. She shares how much fun she has telling all her friends about how because it’s a saltwater pool, swimming doesn’t damage her har or bathing suits as much and she just loves it so much!
But once again, Katherine is simply a fool. That’s because saltwater pools are actually just systems of chlorination. The salt actually creates chlorine in the water! So, after humbly admitting defeat, Katherine investigates a bit further and found out some upsides that remain for her saltwater swimming experience. Thus, it all worked out in the end. As it always does here at Such a Crock!
We love bringing you Such a Crock every Monday of the month! If you love listening, please show your support and share the love, Subscribe at Such a Crock – Apple Podcasts then follow us on Instagram and our fledgling Twitter can really use a boost! Thank you for all the Crocktastic support. We are so grateful for you!