No Offense

Episode 36 – “No Offense”

Get Ready to be Offended

The most offensive CrockCast yet! We cover the familiar Crock phrase “No Offense” in all its wretchedness. Topics include a list of forbidden phrases, sexy mothers, women’s colleges, and HBCUs. We also discuss the true purpose of saying the phrase and, as Britney Spears would say, “It’s NOT that innocent!”

“No Offense” but these Definitions are a Crock

Michael begins the podcast with some crocktacular definitions. Ironically, the crockcasters agree that the traditional definition sources, such as the “dictionary of record” give the WORST definitions. These prissy, conventional interpretations certainly won’t offend anyone but they also clearly aren’t what the phrase means.

Listen to this week’s Episode 36 CrockCast to hear the specifics yourself. It’s much more obvious than you might think!

Sexy Mamas are Mamas Too!

Katherine shares a story about a neighborhood mother offended by a fellow mom’s bikini pic on Instagram. “Can you imagine?” the neighbor said, “And she calls herself a mother!” Katherine’s only reply to this was, “She sounds hot…”

Because what’s wrong with being a hot mama? Apparently it’s quite offensive to emanate sexuality – or even sensuality – while still being a mom. Katherine found several examples of this phenomenon online; including Kelly Oxford, pictured above.

Ms. Oxford, a famous writer, started fires on Insta last year when she posted sexy pics of herself on the same profile that portrays her life as a mother. For some reason, this offended many of her instafans because it contradicted their idea of what a mother looks like.

Hear more about this, as well as more on the whole “mother as an identity” concept, on this week’s “No Offense” CrockCast.

What NOT to Say – a List

We could probably all use a guidebook these days for what’s safe to say. So, Michael gets us started with some basics. He runs through a list from INC Magazine that lays eleven offensive remarks out for us clearly. That way we can stop offending everyone!

However, too bad so sad your CrockCasters STILL continue to revel in offending all with their follow up discussion on the topic. This even includes Katherine’s rampant use of the C-word and other such crock calamities.

SnowFlakes Unite! … Here

She then wraps up the CrockCast with a much-warranted journey into acceptance. Switching gears, Katherine makes an argument to just allow our young people their snowflake years. Specifically, she suggests we grant them snowflake “college years” meaning ages 18-22. Let’s just give these kids a break! We can simply wrap them in bubble wrap to ship ’em off. Easy peasy.

Seriously though, this is the time for that kind of safe learning environment. After all, early adulthood years are about finding our purpose. What do we want to make our lives all about? This makes it a perfect time to study in a specialized place.

Did you know that even though overall college applications and enrollment are down nationwide, they are steadily increasing now at women’s and historically black colleges and universities? Having attended a women’s college herself, Katherine thinks there’s a good reason for this.

Namely, people now realize what’s great about these special advanced education institutions. Listen to Episode 36 of Such a Crock to hear the whole story.

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Thanks for letting us bring you Such a Crock every Monday of the month! Please help us out by showing your support and sharing the love. Just Subscribe at Such a Crock – Apple Podcasts then follow us on Instagram. Also, our fledgling Twitter can really use a your attention and love. Send us tweets and we’ll tweet back atcha loud and proud! Thank you for all your Crocktastic support. We appreciate and love you mucho!

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Episode 33 – The Frontman

The Frontman role isn’t just a Crock – it’s a trap! This CrockCast explores timely topics like: blackface at a Virginia school, Freddie Mercury, and Jeff Bezos.

Virginia is for Lovers – Not Haters

Picture courtesy of wamu.org

This week’s CrockCast is unlike any other. It’s the most of-the-moment for topics as well as the most contemplative. In fact, Katherine delves all the way back to her days of yore – freshman year of college to be precise. She went to school in Virginia and had her very own experience with going to a party with attendees in blackface.

What’s this got to do with The Frontman? Everything. When we’re 18 years old many of us put our peers up on a pedestal. We let them represent us, or at the very least our “group of friends”. But part of growing up is learning to be your own frontman. That’s because letting some seemingly more adept peer represent you is a crock. Represent yourself. Nobody does it better.

Top Ten Frontmen – Rolling Stone

The Beatles’ last live concert in 1969 – Picture thanks to COS – consequenceofsound.net

Unsurprisingly, Michael gets literal about The Frontman and engages a hearty debate about a Top 10 List of Frontmen from RollingStone. Although Michael finds the list a complete crock, Katherine thinks it’s perfect. The only part she doesn’t like is John Lennon on the list. Both Crockcasters agree that The Beatles have two frontmen. Look at these two pics. They stood next to each other for a reason – because they shared the leadership position. In fact, McCartney and Lennon made a point of sharing songwriting credit even though they wrote songs separately.

Sharing Leadership from day one. Photo care of – www.contessagallery.com

Michael goes on to deconstruct the Top 10 list with varying complaints. At the same time, Katherine counterpoints and questions his definitions for “Frontman”. In the end, this turns out to be the silly section of this week’s podcast. Give it a listen and hear the frivolity for yourself.

Freddie Mercury – Lonely Frontman

Photo Credit: bbc.co.uk

The new movie Bohemian Rhapsody may not be historically accurate in all things but it’s a perfect portrait of loneliness. That’s why it’s a wonderful example of how The Frontman is a crock. It’s hard to think of a more iconic frontman than Mercury. He cast a spell upon crowds and whipped them into plumes of ecstasy, pounding feet, clapping, and singing along. Freddie could move them with a throwaway line and flick of the wrist. He held them in awe with his rapturous voice.

But as we learn in the emotionally resonant movie, Freddie was a lonely man and not particularly in touch with himself. While standing strong and representing one of the most powerful and successful bands as a figurehead of many years; he wondered who he was. The CrockCast examines this paradox and, frankly, gets a little deep this week. Can you handle the truth? Cause the crockcasters deliver some real talk. Sound impossible? Give it a listen and see for yourself.

No Icon is an Island

Nobody really knows how Bezos became one of the richest men in the world. But one thing’s for sure, he probably didn’t do it alone. In other words, The Myth of the Lone Genius Founder is correct. No one gets that level of success without some help. It’s a sure bet there’s more to the story than a simpleton would say. Who are the crockcasters calling out as simple? Well, the myth of the Iconic Male Figurehead didn’t write itself… In other words, the whole concept of a Frontman is a crock! Listen to this week’s Episode – 33 and learn more about these modern tech billionaire myths.

Michael wraps up the podcast with a journey to Amazon island, where the news is yapping about Bezos every minute but nobody knows what they’re talking about. It’s funny how people think they know anything about a marriage or even how a couple can become one of the richest in the world. We don’t really know. Only the Bezos marriage knows what truly happened there. But one thing you can find out for certain, how this podcast ends and the Tweets of the week. Just listen on your podcast app or click below.

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Episode 28 – Resolutions

Love everything but the thirty-first of April :(

The Crock of resolutions is SO relevant today – New Year’s Eve, 2018. Katherine and Michael discuss advice for sticking to your goals, David Goggins, and fun facts to make the point that resolutions are a crock.

Advice for New Year’s Resolutions

Michael starts with an article about keeping to your resolutions from Psychology Today. Although the “Streep” Michael references isn’t Meryl but rather the author of the article, Peg Streep, Katherine thinks maybe the actress would have had better advice. Also, she’s really talented and isn’t this a lovely picture of her?

Picture by Brigitte Lacombe c/o Time.com

Ms. Streep, the author, clearly has her heart in the right place and she provides Michael with a fun setup for meaty discussions about what works and doesn’t with setting goals. You can check out her book about Quitting if her ideas intrigue you.

David Goggins… Man Among Mice

"The core is stable."

“The core is stable.” -David Goggins, Toughest Man Alive

Katherine shares the story of David Goggins, one of her favorite people on earth.  He recently released a book about his incredible life and powerful philosophy. It’s an amazing read and even better if you listen to the audiobook. That’s because Goggins had a buddy read from the book and then joins him in conversation as well. So, the audio book serves as a sort of podcast that takes you even deeper into the wonders of Goggins.

Speaking of Goggins wonders, he helps Katherine make her point about the many ways resolutions are  a crock. A man of true purpose, he doesn’t need the excuse of January 1st to motivate him. His purpose in life keeps Goggins achieving his goals as a matter of fact no matter what day it is on the calendar.  Listen to the New Years Crockcast to hear more about it.

Michael’s Resolution Somehow Isn’t One

Michael discusses how his resolution to run 1K miles in 2018 was not a resolution. Is he convincing on this count? Not so much. On the other hand, Michael accomplished this goal and THAT is what truly matters. It was a mighty feat and we’re all proud of him, especially Katherine, who got to hear how hard it was along the way. Congrats, Michael. Here’s to your new non-resolutions in 2019!

Facts Beat Resolutions, Hands Down

This Dolphin is swimming …and maybe sleeping

Katherine caps off the Crockcast with a fun fact romp from a NY Times collection of their favorite 2018 facts. She curates them to present a select few and aligns each with a typical New Year resolution.

Topics include smoking, sleeping, drinking more water, less phone time, and other fun goals we’ve all considered in our efforts to better our lives and selves.

Thanks so much for listening to our Crockcast! We appreciate you and wish you a glorious and lucky New Year. Make all your dreams comes true – day by day.

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Episode 27 – Trolls

Ring in the holiday season with this thoughtful rumination on Trolls by Such a Crock‘s Katherine & Michael Flores. Trolls are a crock!

These are the Trolls of Our Lives

The Christmas Eve Crockcast kicks off with an informative bang as Michael explains Troll definitions. He also touches on the topic of patent trolls. Turns out trolls come in all sizes, shapes, and costs! Katherine then shares a bit about Instagram trolling and they ruminate on the many types of trolls we all encounter in daily life.

Reasons Trolls be Trollin’

Tony Robbins explains it all

Michael draws from the Tony Robbins playbook to examine why people choose to spend their precious time trolling. There are so many other fun and thrilling ways to roll through life! Why waste a moment on spewing negative nastiness? Well, people are complex and have lots of needs. Troll activities satisfy some of these emotional necessities for those of us without enough resources.

He breaks this down for us using Mr. Robbins’ Ted Talk monologue as a model of explaining. It’s not really so hard to understand. Nor is it as simple as Katherine’s dismissive suggestion, “They just want attention” or the popular notion that trolls are just plain ol’ crankpots. Thus, Michael helps us understand the emptiness trolls experience.

Real Life Troll Kills Hollywood Dreams

Check it out on Netflix!

Katherine accesses her deep reservoir of documentary-watching to unearth this tale of real life trolling in the film industry. Shirkers is a blast to watch. It’s the story of Sandi Tan, teen, dreamer, and brilliant film creator.

Ms. Tan’s documentary tells the story of how a mentor trolled her more than twenty years ago. First he pumped her up, calling her a genius and encouraging her daily – only to then steal her dreams. It’s a riveting tale of Shirkers: a brilliant movie that never was. Katherine recommends you check it out on Netflix if you’re interested in cool ass stories of real life trollin’.

Tips for Dealing with Trolls

Don’t fight back with facts

Michael then shares ten tips for handling trolls. Some are better than others. Either way will Katherine take these bits of advice about how to manage trolls online? It turned out only a few of the ten tips were actually useful. She’ll use what works for her and leave the rest on the podcast for posterity.

Truth is, some of these tips were downright wretched advice. That’s because sometimes ideas seem just dandy in theory but when put into practice play out in a less-than-helpful manner. An example of a terrible tip from the list is “fight back with facts”. Both Michael and Katherine agree that this is the most horrendous type of advice – the kind that makes things worse rather than better.

Alice Walker: Activist, Writer, and Certified Troll

Lizard people conspiracies are as popular as they are ridiculous

They say never to meet your heroes and, in fact, they’re 100% correct. That’s because you’ll most certainly end up disappointed… Just like how Katherine felt when she read the NY Times column By the Book on December 13th.

The column blasts her admiration for Alice Walker into smithereens. This writer, activist, and former hero uses the platform to shine a spotlight on an anti-semite conspiracy theorist. The British pariah Walker promotes spouts propaganda including lizard people and other Alex Jones craziness. It’s a mad mad world after all.

New Addition – Good News!

Then Katherine lifts us back up from these conspiracy doldrums with a bit of good news about bees. Checkout this NY Times article on the latest innovation scientists have concocted for saving the bees. It’s a vaccine! They just inject the Queen and she breeds in her special way to vaccinate the entire bee brood. Isn’t good news a refreshing breeze? Indeed, a welcome mist of positivity, even when it’s full of bees

Merci Beaucoup to you and you and you

Thanks for letting us bring you Such a Crock every Monday of the month! Please help us out by showing your support and sharing the love. Just Subscribe at Such a Crock – Apple Podcasts then follow us on Instagram. Also, our fledgling Twitter can really use a your attention and love. Send us tweets and we’ll tweet back atcha loud and proud! Thank you for all your Crocktastic support. We appreciate and love you mucho!

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Episode 17 – Holiday Decorations

After a spooky intro, Katherine and Michael dive right into a crocktacular Holiday Decoration discussion. They kick off with a fun back and forth about how much our silly country spends on these decorations in a single year. The numbers might surprise you, but Michael guessed them with terrific accuracy.

Guess what’s spent on Halloween Decorations

When to take Holiday Decorations Down

Michael chuckles at a story he read on hellogiggles.com that talks about when to pack in the Christmas decorations. He then asks when people should do this as a policy. This reminds Katherine about her minimalist Christmas of yore when she just didn’t feel like decorating. Thing is, when you barely put any decorations up it’s pretty darn easy to put stuff away right after the gifts are unwrapped.

K’s Minimalist Christmas – including a tiny Lego snowman and lego “snow”

EXTREME Outdoor Christmas Decorations

But let’s just admit it, most people who celebrate Christmas don’t show Katherine’s level of restraint. In fact, Plantation, Florida filed a lawsuit against a family in their community for EXTREME holiday decorations. Can decorations really cause enough harm to warrant a lawsuit?

Introducing, The Hyatts. This family doesn’t just love Christmas, they gotta blow out the power grid. In fact, only lighting the sky for miles can satisfy their intense lust for Holiday Decorations. Listen to the podcast to find out what happened with the Hyatts. Did they win the lawsuit? Do they wear matching holiday sweaters? (Yes) Are they still married? (No) Did they start a GoFundMe? Listen and learn it all, bro.

Sample of the Hyatt brand holiday madness

 Speaking of Bad Neighbors…

Then Katherine and Michael wax nostalgic for their horrendous neighbors of yore who partied every night at 3AM to the Macarena. It’s relevant because of Michael’s take on a bad boy named Barry who lost his mind on a bulldozer. Let’s just say Barry might have some anger issues and  impulse control presents a bit of a challenge to him. At least that’s what his neighbors think… as well as the cops who took him away for several assault counts and massive malicious mischief. Here’s a tip if Barry moves in next door to you: Don’t build a fence. It’s triggering AF.

Next Steps if You LOVE the CROCK

We’re so grateful you join us for Such a Crock podcasts on Mondays! Please help us keep it up! Click this link to Subscribe at Such a Crock – Apple Podcasts. Then if you’re really feeling the love, follow us on Instagram. Also, our Twitter longs for even just a morsel of your attention. But no matter what you may do or not do, we appreciate you for listening. Thank you for all your Crocktastic encouragement. We love you!

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